Blindly Waiting
by Remo Con
Summary: Koenma will always applaud for Yusuke, because he know's he won't always be waiting for it to be his turn. Onesided shonenai


_**Disclaimer: Well my darlings, I think that it is now safe to say, in this public venue of the internet, that I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho. I know, for years I have tried to keep this secret safe, hoping against hope that no one would realize the truth. But as much as this breaks everyone's hearts, I can no longer keep quiet. I don't even own the bandana Hiei wrapped around his forehead for so long. I can't even say I have a strand of Kuruama hair (which is hardly fair, since I don't really think he'd miss one…). But having admitted this, I feel better. I think I can move on in life. Maybe.**_

_Blindly Waiting_

It's all about timing, I mused. If Yusuke has walked by that street just ten minutes later, he would never have died, never become spirit detective, and never waltzed into my life leaving it in total chaos.

But-

I was beginning to think I liked the chaos.

There was a certain thrill about never knowing what horrible monster was going to wreak havoc in the universe next and through what seemingly impossible way Yusuke would stop it. Whether it be befriending it, miraculously gaining new powers just in time to kill it, or using some completely hair-brained political ploy against it, Yusuke made it work.

Some might accuse me of harboring a bad case of fan worship.

I would be ecstatic if it was that simple.

Yusuke did not make friends lightly and if he liked you he was more than willing to die for you. He didn't blindly expect that sort of loyalty back, but I had realized a while ago that I wanted to prove that I was just as capable of such a sacrifice. It had never been more apparent to me than when my father had put the death warrant out on Yusuke. If I could have done anything, I would have.

But in the end, Yusuke hadn't needed my help on even that.

Part of the reason Yusuke didn't expect anything back was because he didn't need anything back. Not like everyone else did. He didn't need companionship like Kuwabara did. He didn't need someone to prove to him that not all the universe was out to get him like Hiei did. He didn't need someone to keep him from going insane, to give him definition of who he truly was like Kurama did. And what I needed, Yusuke already had.

I couldn't hate her. I couldn't condemn her for what she felt; I couldn't even begrudge her because Yusuke returned her feelings. Keiko didn't deserve that.

I didn't want to say I didn't deserve Yusuke. But I didn't.

Perhaps I was being over dramatic. I tended to do that, but as I watched Yusuke's first fight in the main tournament against that cat demon and saw him take it out in one blow, all I could think was that no matter how this tournament turned out, whether Yusuke became the first "elected" ruler of demon world or not, in three years he would still return to Keiko and they would resume their relationship. Maybe they would go on and get married, have a couple kids, and then I'd come over and visit and more likely than not be teased mercilessly not only by Yusuke but by his offspring as well.

But even if he and Keiko didn't work out, and odds were that they would, Yusuke was still destined for greater things then I could ever hope to be a part of.

Eventually I would fade into the background and I would simply be his old boss, merely remembered for helping to start Yusuke along on his way.

He would probably remain in contact with Botan longer, but eventually she too would probably just be another fond memory of the spirit world people he used to know.

There was only one thing I looked forward to in the future: the day Yusuke died. Again.

Third time's the charm, right?

I know, who could I wish him dead if I loved him? But you see, the only way I will ever have him is if everyone in the living world finally gives him up. And they will only do that went his is truly dead, of old age most likely since it is highly unlikely that anyone will be able to kill Yusuke. Unless, of course, he gets careless. But as much as he is reckless, I don't think that will happen.

So I will stand here and applaud Yusuke as he advances in the tournament. I will congratulate him at his wedding and after the birth of each child.

I will never tell him how I feel.

At least, not until he dies.

But after that…

Well let's just say that for every moment he spent in the living world, for every adventure he experienced and for every moment of happiness, together we shall have triple that.

In a couple hundred years, that is when things shall truly begin.

For me, anyway.

**Author Notes: Well this, for anyone who took the time to read it, is a prelude one shot to what could be a much longer and better written story. Like what I did with my Inuyasha stories Emphasis on Almost and Nothing Emphasized (yes, shamelessly promoting, but hey…-grins-). I've never really written Koenma before, so I don't know if I did a decent enough job –sweatdrops- but I think that this may not actually be a one-shot. I think what will happen is I'll have a second chapter from Yusuke's POV. And that would be the fic. Then I could start the sequel fic, depending on whether or not any one reads this, since I do have other things I should be writing…-clears throat- but anyway, if anyone read this extremely short little story, then I'm sure you want to review. Yes, that's right, click that little purple button. Ya know ya wanna….I swear, I'll get out my hypnosis coin if I have to! Remo**


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